Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
