im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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