pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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