It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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