I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
