I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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