yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
