Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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