if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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