sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize