: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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