If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
