This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
