mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
