My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
