Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
