"it" just moved
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We are two peas in an std pod
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
