mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
