So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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