I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
