i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
