He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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