His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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