i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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