If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
