if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
