you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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