I have demons in me.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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