So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
