Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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