the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what day is it and did you see me today?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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