Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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