He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
