They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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