Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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