Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I could make wine with my vomit
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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