I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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