i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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