why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize