This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
