The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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