hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize