at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
