I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize