your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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