I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
