he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
As shirtless as possible
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
