she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
