Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
