PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
