Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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