Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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