Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its not stalking. its research.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
