i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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