Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
