Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize