she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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