the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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