haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
