Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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