He is an equal opportunity slut.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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