I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
