I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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