So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
