We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
