thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
