I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize